dear mom…

I wanted to make a post dedicated to you, because let’s be real, I honestly wouldn’t be here without you (thank you, seventh grade biology for teaching me that). But more than just me and my little world, you do so much for our family, and I don’t think there’s enough “thank” out there for you.

If I was asked to recall some of my favorite memories with you, it would be like that scene from Alice in Wonderland when she’s falling down that trippy tunnel and you feel like you’re on shrooms just watching the movie. As a five year old. That has no concept of what shrooms are, beyond the weird things that grow in your front yard.

When I was a freshman in college, I was a collection of emotions ranging from scared to excited and everything in between. I was excited to be at a school I wanted to be at so badly, with opportunities that I could see for miles. I was excited to be on my own, in a state that didn’t know snow the way Connecticut does. But I was scared because I’d be leaving my best friend, and that mom, is you.

Oddly enough, my absolute favorite memory with you is the moment we said goodbye in that god-awful dorm room that I moved out of a week later (another story, another day). And at first glance, this may not be the happiest memory, with the most laughs or smiles or anything like that.

But it’s my favorite because in that moment, as I sat on the floor half unpacked trying to put my printer together, and you were standing by the door getting ready to leave to go back to Connecticut, I realized what an amazing mother you are. We may have been crying, and I really didn’t want you to leave, but I knew that you wouldn’t have left me there if you didn’t think I was ready to fly on my own. I knew you raised me to be the best version of myself, and you believed it standing there as we said goodbye.

And the fact that I was crying and so deeply upset showed that I knew I was ready too, and that I would miss you just a little bit.

Of course I loved you before this day, and I knew I had the best mother in the world before this moment too. But not every child feels the way I felt saying goodbye the day they leave for college, and I thank my lucky stars that I did cry that day, and that I did feel that pain. Because it made every reunion after so much sweeter. Along the lines of you don’t know what you have until its gone, I didn’t understand how incredible of a mother you were until I was gone.

But you weren’t really gone, because you were in my head and in my heart with every decision I made. Over the years, you’ve taught all of us, Dad and dogs included, how to be kinder, more generous people. You’ve taught us love, you’ve taught us laughter, you’ve taught us joy and you’ve taught us how to be mothers in our own ways too.

You gave us the discipline to be able to make difficult decisions on our own. You supported us so we could carry ourselves with confidence. You held our hands so one day we could let go and grab someone else’s.

On this Mother’s Day, and every day, I hope you remember how many lives you’ve touched and how strongly you’ve done so. Because you raised us all so well, we spread that goodness as we go through the world, and your love gets to ripple throughout society. Every person you meet, you lay your motherly love on and its so evident through the way their life changes afterward.

I hope you never lose your motherly touch, because the world would be a bleak place without it.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom



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